Then and Now

Wow! It's been a whole year since we became parents again. Some days it's hard to believe it's only been a year and other days it seems like it's been forever. Thinking about where we were a year ago and where we are now is almost unbelieveable sometimes. August 27, 2007 -the moment that we had waited and planned for. As they brought the boys into the room to meet us it was just indescribable. In an instant we were a family. We have spent the last year trying to figure each other out - who likes to eat what, who needs a nap, what makes each one smile, who likes to play what, etc. None of that has been made any easier by the language and culture barriers that we have all faced. We are still discovering what makes each one unique. The boys are still trying to figure out so many things that are different in the US. Their English is good, but all those phrases and slang terms we use and understand so easily are lost on them. We still spend alot of time each day explaining what words mean and why certain things are funny. Andrew doesn't seem to remember very much Spanish and while the other two claim they don't, they still like to watch movies in Spanish. Maicol is reading English, Juan can sound out words and Andrew has learned about 3 letters and their sounds. They have learned to ride bikes, swim, sit still in a restaurant, play computer games and sit and listen to their Papi read bedtime stories. We have learned to explain words and situations with simple words, be patient, plan ahead, cook 3 meals a day and love them regardless of what they do or say. Has it been easy for us - no. Has it been easy for them - no. Could we have imagined what it would be like - not completely. Would we do it again - YES.

Maicol asked me today - "Why do you love us?" What a question from a 9 year old. He's still trying so hard to believe that I do love him and that he will be my son forever. It doesn't matter what he says or does - I still love him. My answer to his question was "Because I decided to". While they are beautiful children and most of the time a joy to have in our home the bottom line is that love is a choice. We have made the choice to love them and they make that choice too. I know they don't understand that completely yet, but someday they will.

Here's a picture of us a year ago in Colombia and a picture taken Sunday. What were we thinking then? Probably the same thing we were thinking Sunday - "Is it bedtime yet?" :)

Thanks for following along on our journey to become a family.

Trip to Grandma's

Hangin' with primo Christopher

Juan and Andrew with Grandma

Maicol - sliding down the pole - practicing to be a fireman

Juan, Christopher, Micah, Andrew and Maicol

Juan and Andrew

We made the trip to Grandma's last weekend. The four hour drive isn't alot of fun, but it sure is worth it once you get there! There's something for everyone. I get my "comfort food" - meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy and oatmeal cake. Dan gets to sleep alot. The boys get to eat ice cream bars and stay up late playing. Plus we all get to see Grandma! My sister and her family were able to come too, so it was even better. More people to play with, talk to and we even got to play cards! We got to make homemade ice cream - a first for my boys. Lots of catching cicadas by Juan and Andrew. We walked back to the woods and "looked" for deer. Seriously, is there any possibility that we are going to see a deer with three little boys walking through the woods and fields? Maicol took his toy bow and arrow just in case. :) We did manage to see alot of poison ivy and a few deer tracks. Thankfully none of them seemed to get a rash from the poison ivy.

Jonathan, Kristin and Bethany were all over today. Jonathan and Kristin took the boys to the skateboard park and the regular park. From what I understand all of the boys did pretty well with their skateboards. They had a great time. Bethany brought them some chocolate chip cookies to spoil their dinner. We had a fire and roasted hot dogs for dinner. The weather has been fantastic. In the 70's during the day and the 50-60's at night.

The Maicol and Mami saga continues. He is very jealous of the time I spend with the other boys and in particular the time I spend with Dan. He wants all of my time and my undivided attention - I can't even look at the newpaper while he does his schoolwork without him getting mad. We had a really long day Thursday. I ended up assigning him extra schoolwork and cleaning chores for his misbehavior. The next day he was much better. He has been drawing pictures and writing in a notebook for me - pictures of the two of us and some of the rest of the family and lots of pictures of hearts and the word love in every color. Today was a good day. Not sure why, but I have been trying to ignore some of the small stuff and trying to be more proactive in hugging and kissing him. He is also learning to tell me when he needs that and not just get mad.

We met our boys a year ago August 27. While we did tell them that day, we haven't done anything to celebrate, since in the past they haven't done well with celebrations. They haven't said anything else about it. We actually signed the papers September 10, so we're pondering doing something for that day. It's really the day they became ours. Still trying to decide what to do. I'd like to do something that either we would do each year, or give them some type of gift that we would add to each year. Any ideas?

Karen

Two Week Synopsis

Maicol on the bumper cars -he has waited a long time to do this and then discovered he really doesn't know anything about driving!

Learning to be skateboard experts.

Not sure about this - it hasn't been that cold, but you can see from their jackets they have grown since last winter.

Dan riding the little roller coaster with everyone.

Andrew had a good time I think!

Holiday World - their first trip to an amusement park and riding rides.

My little "tree hugger".

Dan has been "reminding" me that I need to blog, but I just don't know what to write about. Nothing new and exciting to report. We have had school nearly everyday. They still aren't wild about it, but since it's become more and more of a routine they complain less. Maicol is continuing to get better at working by himself, which helps alot. My challenge is trying to work with one, answer questions from the other and try to keep Andrew from getting into too much trouble. I have been trying various things to keep him entertained - watching a DVD, getting out a seldom-used toy, blocks of various kinds and he will lately sometimes look at a book. He is quite the mischevious one. I have started locking the front door during school so at least I know he hasn't slipped out the front door without me knowing. I can see the other door from the table where we do school. I came out from taking a quick shower the other day to find Andrew drawing on himself with a dry erase marker. I think he was quite pleased with himself, but I was not. Especially considering I saw his two brothers run from the room as I came out. They strongly denied they had any knowledge of the incident, but we all know better than that. Bethany finally got them to admit it and then I had punished them for lying to me.

We made it to Holiday World. This is an amusement park/water park. As we started to go the first day, we ended up unpacking the suitcases and staying home because of misbehavior. We did manage to get up very early the next morning and just made it a one day instead of a two day trip. They had not been to anything like this before. Maicol rode a pretty big roller coaster and was very proud of himself - even tho he was scared. The other boys weren't big enough to ride some things, but got to do enough that they had a good time. They weren't all that thrilled with the water park aspect, but did really enjoy the wave pools. Hopefully a trip to the beach will be possible next summer.

Bethany is now in her apartment. She is living there, but much of her "stuff" is still living at our house. :) She has a nice place to stay and is happy to be out on her own. We went over last week for dinner and I got to check things out since I hadn't been over there yet.

Maicol and I continue to struggle. He loves me one minute and hates me the next. Always over something that seems trivial to me, but I guess not so trivial to him. He made quite a big fuss yesterday because I didn't play with him before I went to work. Then he was mad because I didn't come quickly enough (in his opinion) to check on Andrew after he had bumped him with a truck they were playing with. He was able to stop himself several other times from complaining about other little things, so in some ways I think we are making progress. He so easily draws me into an argument. Because in many ways he is a very smart little boy, I feel like I should be able to talk and reason with him, but that usually doesn't work. You would think by now I would know that, but I still give in and try to reason with him too often. I'm getting better at putting a quick end to his complaints, but I still have a ways to go. It's still the daily barage of statements that I don't love him, don't care about him, talk mean to him, he isn't important, etc. We continue to reassure him that isn't true, but it really does get old repeating the same things over and over multiple times a day. Then I come home from work and find notes on the front door that he loves me and has drawn a picture of he and I. He's still following me around (when he's not mad) and won't go anywhere if I don't go. We're in a babysitting co-op starting in September. It's 2 friday nights a month for 4 hours. He had a terrible fit when he found out that I would be leaving him to play with other kids, watch a movie and have a snack for 4 hours twice a month. What a mean mother I am! I know that if he will let himself he will have a good time. He has such a great fear that I will either leave him or send him back because I have changed my mind about him. He just can't let himself believe that either scenario is not possible and that everything we tell him is true. He wears me out!

Dan has started reading books to them before bed. He reads and then I rock each of them. So it's "rock and read" or more accurately "read and rock" at night. He had tried reading books before, but without much success. They evidently understand enough that it's much more interesting now. They would sit and listen for hours if he would keep reading to them. Andrew and Juan really like the books. Maicol thinks he's too big, but if there's nothing else to do, he'll listen intently and have a wonderful time. Dan is really good at reading to them with lots of expression, so they are very interested.

We had our last post placement visit Thursday. Yeah, we're done! We still need to do the Ireadoption thing tho. They were a little rambunctious, I think she cut our visit a little short. It was only about 30 minutes. Maicol gets upset when we go and talk about him, so I'm glad we won't have to do it anymore. Now I just need to get all the pictures ready to send in with the report.

We're trying to enjoy the last few days of summer. Our neighborhood pool will be open this weekend and next, so we're hoping to get there as much as possible. Dan bought a slip-n-slide, so they have been enjoying that in the front yard. Bethany bought them a spray toy, so we're going to hook that up to a hose to play with too. It has been very warm the last few days. Hard to believe fall is just around the corner.

Here are a few pictures also.

Karen

The Pretty and the Not So Pretty

I'm back to work (at my part-time job) today, so I finally have a little peace and quiet! I don't return to my other job til the end of next week. I love my boys, but I really, really needed a break from them (and they are probably glad to have a break from me too)!

Since I am home on medical leave I have been busy cleaning closets and cabinets, pulling weeds in the garden and Dan and I have been painting the outside of the house. Nothing like surgery and a forced 4 week leave to get some things done. :) We have also been having school daily. While they aren't crazy about it, it has been good for them. They haven't forgotten what they had learned and it helps to have a regular schedule for the day. Juan is doing well - he has only 5 letters and sounds left to learn. He is able to sound out words. When we started I wasn't too sure how well he was going to do, but he has surprised us. He is also now able to swim well enough to jump off the diving board without a life jacket. Maicol is reading pretty well and catches on to the math easily. He is finally starting to work better by himself. My struggle with him has been that he wants me to sit beside him as he works and watch his every move. No talking to anyone else, no reading the paper, etc. If I can't also help Juan or get something else done too it makes school take way to long and we miss out on doing so many other things. Andrew now knows 2 letters - A & E ("A" is for Andrew - according to him) and the basic colors. He is still mischievous - he can find a pair of scissors, pens, markers, etc. when no one else can and use them in totally inappropriate ways. He talks all the time. Skittles are proving to be a reasonably good incentive for potty training.

It was a very long week last week. Maicol has been struggling and it is of course all directed at me. Many unkind things said about me by him and lots of anger. I finally called Jonathan and begged him to come stay with them because I really needed a little time away with Dan. He was happy to oblige and we all enjoyed the break. He finally looked at me Sunday while playing his video game and said - "So you will love me even if I'm bad?" - and I repeated what we have been saying for a long time (of course we will, but it's much more enjoyable if you're good). Since then he has been better. Did that finally sink in? Even just a little bit? I sure hope so, but I know that we will be revisiting this again and again. Now that he's happier emotionally he's become my shadow again. Following me around all day, won't go anywhere if I don't go, touching me all the time, asking me questions constantly, etc. He wants me all to himself - doesn't even want Dan to play a game with us. He's driving me crazy! And to think back almost a year ago they were so in love with Dan and could have cared less about me. Now I have the opposite problem. :)

That's pretty much the news from the last 2 weeks. Some of it pretty and some of it not so pretty. We are approaching our 1 year anniversary - August 27. Hard to believe a year has gone by. Not sure if/what we'll celebrate - the day we met them, the day we signed the adoption decree, the day we got home. They don't always do well with celebrations, so we're still deciding what to do (if anything).

Thanks for following our journey thus far.

Karen

Getting Back to "Normal"

Juan - not sure what you call this dive.

Spiderman - aka Andrew. He has been wearing this mask to the pool the last couple of days.

Maicol learning to use his skateboard.

We are slowly getting back to "normal". I have been back home for almost a week now and am doing good. Slowly getting back into the flow of things - laundry, schoolwork, rocking, etc. I think the boys believe I am back to stay. Maicol in particular has had a very hard time with my going to the hospital. I don't think we had really convinced him that I would return and everything would be fine. He has spent the last several days being very vigilant - following me around, touching me, asking me what I'm doing, not going anywhere without me - you get the idea. He's driving me crazy!! He has settled down some today tho. Still always near me, but more relaxed I think. Juan and Andrew spent the first couple of days looking at me alot, but now seem to be back to their old selves - stubborn and adorable.

We have been doing alot of swimming. They all love it. We've gotten into the habit of going later in the afternoon so that by the time we are done it's time to eat dinner and start putting people to bed. The sun and swimming seem to wear them out and they go to sleep quickly and easily. I guess it will be back to riding bikes and playing on the trampoline once swimming season is over.

Hard to believe it's been almost a year since they became a part of our family. We got the call about our assignment July 27 - four days from today. I was talking to Maicol about it tonight - what happened, the excitement of getting their pictures, etc. We had talked about it some before, but he was very interested in talking tonight while I rocked him. I hope he was able to understand the excitement we felt and how much we love them.

Here are a few swimming pictures - since that seems to be the primary thing we do lately. I have a few hospital pictures, but I'm not going to embarass myself by posting those. Suffice it to say I have certainly looked better. :)

Karen

Still Here

Just a quick post to let you know that we're still here. I had some surgery this week and after 3 days in the hospital am home to recover for a few weeks. It has been difficult on the boys - especially Maicol. He has had great fear that I would not come back. The other two I am told missed having me around. Jonathan's fiance has helped us tremendously by staying with them so Dan could be with me some. I don't know what we would have done without her. Bethany will be home next week to help some and I really hope to progress rapidly back to my old self. Dan says it may take awhile since I'm "old", so I guess I have to prove him wrong. ! :) Dan has been wonderful trying to let me have a little peace and quiet. Not an easy task in our house!
Hope to get a more exciting post up in the next few days.

Karen

And Life Goes On

Maicol - not too excited about sparklers.

Pajamas are supposed to be flame retardent, aren't they?

Juan Pablo didn't want to stop playing with the sparklers!

Maicol and his birthday skateboard

Showoffs

Anna flying high at Chuck E Cheese's

Andrew getting driving lessons

Maicol earning prize tickets

Juan Pablo tags along

More guns and ammo to add to his armory

A future pinball wizard?

He had a really happy birthday!

Karen's working so I guess Papa is about due to do a little blogging. As the man of the house I should be the one to anounce that Andrew has reached a major stage on the way to manhood. He is now tall enough to pee standing up! We are beginning to notice his pants are getting too short. All the boys are really growing fast.

We made it through the 4th of July. We went to the Noblesville fireworks and were very disappointed. People were beginning to leave long before they were even over. But the boys still enjoyed it. They also had glowsticks to play with.

Maicol's birthday was on the 5th. We did the Chuck E Cheese thing with family and Maicol's friend Anna. The boys have been wanting to go to Chuck E Cheese every time they see a commercial. They all had a blast! Chuck E made an appearance and Juan Pablo followed him around the whole time. Juan's bubble was popped though when he saw Chuck E duck out of the room and reemerge as a short, shy, female employee. Juan then had to proclaim to all that Chuck E Cheese wasn't real!

And life goes on. Bethany's working alot. I've had plenty of work, and Karen is making good progress with the boys and their attitudes. One of the boy's friends who couldn't make it to the party spent part of Sunday with us. They just love to have her over. Oh, and a outgoing little girl just moved in down the street. She came over and Maicol and Juan went riding off with her down the street. I was happy. The boys haven't made many friends in the neighborhood yet.

And life goes on! I'm sure there were alot of other things I had to say, but I can't think of them now. Whoever said little children keep you young must not have had little children! But they do give me a chance to spend more time at the pool.